When Pastors Leave

A pastor leaves his church in most cases because he feels that God is calling him to a new church. But other reasons often are in play behind the scenes.

His family may need a change in scenery. Financial need may drive him to seek a more generous church. Ambition for a larger church may lead him to look beyond his small one; or fatigue with a large church may lead him to find a smaller one. Frustration, anger, arrogance, hurt, resentment, anxiety or any of the other negative emotions so prevalent in our modern world may choke out his passion for ministry.

His present congregation may be so brutal that it endangers his family’s emotional or spiritual well-being. Moral failure may disqualify him. Immaturity on his part, the congregation’s part or both may require a separation—like a married couple at war with one another who can no longer live together.

Over time, a pastor and his congregation may grow apart to the point where they’re no longer on the same theological page. Conflict between the pastor and certain members or groups within the congregation may become so toxic that it’s impossible for him to effectively lead the church. Physical health problems require some pastors to step aside. Mental health issues (as real in ministry as in any other vocation), exhaustion or anxiety may rob a pastor of the ability to minister. In traditions where individual congregations don’t choose their pastors, a bishop or denominational administrator may assign a pastor to serve another congregation based on his assessment of where the pastor is best suited.

But there’s one other reason why pastors leave their churches, a reason that’s closer to home for me and my wife than the others that I’ve mentioned. A pastor may leave his church because he’s reached the stage of life where it’s best for him, his family and his church that he step aside. And that’s why, two weeks ago, my wife and I gave notice to the congregation that we’ve served for 17 wonderful years that we plan to retire at the end of this year.

I hate the word “retirement” when it’s used of pastors. Pastoral ministry isn’t a career choice but a calling that once accepted requires a man to sign away his rights to choose his own destiny. We pastors move according to a will other than our own; and when it comes to the modern notion of retirement as that period of life when someone stops working in order to relax and take it easy for however many years they have left, well, that’s a foreign concept in the Bible. God’s Word says that we’re made to worship and serve him through however many years we live in this world as a way of preparing us to worship and serve him in the world to come. But because that’s a lot to explain, “retirement” will have to suffice. All I know is that my wife and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to us, “Your assignment in this place and with these people is completed. It’s time for you now to move on to the next assignment I have for you.”

That’s why, after a lengthy time of reflection, conversation and prayer, we made the decision to move into a new season of life and ministry. To retire—or at least to shift the focus of our ministry from a large congregation to the more intimate setting of our extended family.

But I’m retiring with a deep concern for my brothers in ministry. Today, if the latest studies are accurate, only one in ten pastors will actually retire as pastors. In other words, 90% of modern pastors will leave their vocations before they’re old enough to retire.

A recent example of how the statistical evidence plays out in real time took place a little over a year ago when Andrew Lang, Senior Pastor of Alington Heights Presbytarian Church near Chicago, Illinois, left his church. But it wasn’t just his position at First Presbyterian Church that Lang quit. He told his people that he also would be leaving the pastorate altogether.

In a widely read article explaining his decision, Lang framed his action as part of the epidemic of similar pastoral resignations around the country. Pastors are leaving in droves, he said, because churches have become so dysfunctional that they’re almost impossible to lead:

I have become part of what is known as the Great Pastor Resignation that came in the wake of the pandemic. Barna did a national survey of pastors and, as of March 2022, 42% of pastors considered quitting. The reasons for this are myriad, but the top five reasons given are as follows: The immense stress of the job (56%), feelings of loneliness and isolation (43%), current political divisions (38%), unhappiness with how the role of pastor has affected the pastor’s family (29%), and no optimism about the future of the church (29%). I can relate to all of these, but in particular, the top two are the ones that figured heavily into my decision. Being a pastor is like being a parent. You can imagine what it’s like to have a child, but until you are in the role, you cannot fully appreciate what it’s like to shoulder the responsibility of caring for a life 24/7. The same is true for being a pastor. You think you know what to expect, but the lived experience is very different from your imaginings of what it will be.

Despite Lang’s experience and the variety of excuses and explanations he makes for his own exit, many of us stick with being a pastor until “retirement”—there’s that word again—but you get what I mean.

What makes the difference? How, in spite of all the challenges, do some pastors hang around long enough to finish the job?

One pastor I heard of offered an explanation that makes more sense than you might think. At his retirement ceremony he was asked by one of his church leaders how he had succeeded in being a pastor for so long in the face of so many opponents. What was his secret? His answer was as short as it was true. “I outlived them,” he said.

On a more serious level, I think there are two essential qualities that help pastors remain in their ministries for the duration.

The first quality is humility. Now, before I explain what I mean, I’ll be the first to acknowledge that pastors aren’t generally known for their humility. Particularly pastors of the Baptist variety. We tend to be loud, assertive and full of ourselves. At the same time, even Baptist pastors must come to terms with humility. And the best place to look is in the life of Jesus.

Jesus began his public ministry with a forty day period of temptation in the desert. It was there that he learned the lessons of humility as Satan came to him with three temptations.

The first temptation was to presumption, the notion that Jesus could do for himself what only God can do. “If you are the Son of God,” Satan said to him, “command these stones to become loaves of bread.” (Matthew 4:3) But Jesus refused the bait. He wouldn’t put himself in God’s place. “It is written,” Jesus said, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” (Matthew 4:4)

Satan’s second temptation was to pride. Taking Jesus to Jerusalem, he set him on the temple’s highest tower and invited him to jump off, knowing that God would deliver him. “He will command his angels concerning you,” he said to Jesus. “On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.” (Matthew 4:6)

Again, Jesus refused the temptation. “You shall not put the Lord your God to the test,” he said. (Matthew 4:7)

Satan’s third temptation was to performance. Showing Jesus all the kindgoms of the world, he said “All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.” (Matthew 4:9). In other words, he said, if you perform this act of worship, I will give you the world, the same thing God has promised to give you, only without the suffering and the pain that God’s plan of redemption called for.

But Jesus refused this final offer, choosing the way of the cross instead of the way of performance. “Be gone, Satan!” he said. “For it is written, ‘You shall worship the Lord your God and him only shall you serve.’” (Matthew 4:10)

Presumption. Pride. Performance. Temptations tied together by the common refusal to live in humility. Temptations not just for Jesus but also for all of us who claim to minister in his name and who aspire to finish the work he has given us to do.

The second essential quality for longevity in pastoring, I think, is simple toughness. There’s no real secret to that. No romance or exalted feeling to it. Just plain grit.

The fact is that serving as a pastor has never been easy, comfortable or secure and those who think it should be haven't taken the time to read through the biblical position description. Jeremiah prayed that his eyes might become a fountain of tears so that he might weep for his people's sin. Ezekiel was so bitter about the stubborn people that God sent him to that he refused to speak for the first week after he arrived at his assigned location. Paul was so exasperated with his critics in the church at Philippi that he wished they would castrate themselves (not a viable pastoral leadership style in the modern church). Five of the seven churches that John wrote to in the book of Revelation were dealing with congregational sin that would make any pastor’s head spin. But none of those men walked away. Nobody quit.

The quality that stands out in those men is toughness, the spiritual wherewithal that says when times are hard, people are stubborn or the church isn’t going well, by God’s grace, I won’t give in. I won’t give out. I won’t give up. I’ll get up tomorrow morning and I’ll go to work. I’ll love God’s people and speak truth to them. I’ll rebuke the devil. I’ll do what it takes—however long and hard I have to work—to lead my church well.

A pastor friend just retired after a long and fruitful ministry and shared with a group of younger pastors the description of pastoral toughness that had guided his ministry for over forty years. It came from the Baptist preacher JP Allen in a sermon he preached to the students of Southwestern Baptist Seminary when my friend was a student there.

“Men, remember your ministry will not be judged by how you do when your people are cooperative and the culture is receptive and the Holy Spirit seems to bless everything you do. You will be judged by how you plow when the dust of the field is in your nose, the heat of the sun is burning down on your neck and all your friends are down at the creek swimming and having a good time. Will you keep plowing or won’t you? Each of us will be judged by whether we keep our hands on the plow and keep plowing no matter what.”

Pastors today, despite all the challenges of the modern world, are needed more than ever. If they can look beyond their circumstances and not give in to the angst of the moment, if they can stay humble and dependent upon God, if they can look within themselves and find the inner toughness to stand firm against adversity, then they can hold the course and confidently lead their congregations into the future. They can fulfill their calling and not leave until their job is done.